Day 54: Your definition of love
I'm stumped on this subject right now. I feel like some time ago I had an eloquent answer ready to go but... I don't know. It's not that the definition has changed, or my opinion - it's like I picked it up and put it down someplace different.
Love is deeply caring for someone you know, thinking them special in some way, platonic or romantic. It's wanting to have and maintain a meaningful connection to them, whether physical closeness is possible or not. It's when you think of that someone unprompted, in unrelated situations.
After that, the definition would get less universal and more ideal.
14 October 2013
13 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 53
Day 53: Your day, in great detail
Ahahaha oh boy. Why today.
Kept waking up during the night. Saw dreams - one was something very Fable II -esque based on my past and a dear friend. Woke up at eight to take antibiotics, tried to go back to sleep, saw a fucked up dream about a girl-turned-ghost... failed to really sleep for most of the time. Got up tired as all hell, discussed anime and fandoms on twitter, dicked around on tumblr.
Drove with a friend to spend the day with an old friend in common - stopped at a store, got there, talked about things a bit and squeed at cats. Watched her play games I probably won't get to play. Watched TV, ate candy; half watched a movie, half talked shit through it, reminisced, talked more shit, laughed at cats being silly.
Made vague plans to meet again, drove back via a gas station, ate sandwiches, drank tea... Currently sitting at computer eating candy and trying to decide if I should get booze or not.
Not really in great detail, but... there weren't many more? I sat at her place for six hours and mostly nothing of significance that is mine to share even came up?
Ahahaha oh boy. Why today.
Kept waking up during the night. Saw dreams - one was something very Fable II -esque based on my past and a dear friend. Woke up at eight to take antibiotics, tried to go back to sleep, saw a fucked up dream about a girl-turned-ghost... failed to really sleep for most of the time. Got up tired as all hell, discussed anime and fandoms on twitter, dicked around on tumblr.
Drove with a friend to spend the day with an old friend in common - stopped at a store, got there, talked about things a bit and squeed at cats. Watched her play games I probably won't get to play. Watched TV, ate candy; half watched a movie, half talked shit through it, reminisced, talked more shit, laughed at cats being silly.
Made vague plans to meet again, drove back via a gas station, ate sandwiches, drank tea... Currently sitting at computer eating candy and trying to decide if I should get booze or not.
Not really in great detail, but... there weren't many more? I sat at her place for six hours and mostly nothing of significance that is mine to share even came up?
12 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 52
Day 52: If you didn’t have an age, how old would you think you were
How old would I think..? I would still have my memories, right? I might be able to get close to the truth by comparing and contrasting who I was with, when and for how long - as well as how strongly I related to which stories. But... I honestly can't be sure. I'd know approximately how old I would have to be to still be in the school I am in but be older than the rest of the students, though. That doesn't leave much room for error.
How old would I think..? I would still have my memories, right? I might be able to get close to the truth by comparing and contrasting who I was with, when and for how long - as well as how strongly I related to which stories. But... I honestly can't be sure. I'd know approximately how old I would have to be to still be in the school I am in but be older than the rest of the students, though. That doesn't leave much room for error.
11 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 51
Day 51: Describe your future wedding
I'm not sure I'll ever have one. I haven't thought much about it, ever. A lot of it would depend on the partner - though I suppose a huge wedding the whole town is invited to might not be the thing for me. It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be traditional... but I do think a proper, maybe modified, ceremony would be nice.
I'm not sure I'll ever have one. I haven't thought much about it, ever. A lot of it would depend on the partner - though I suppose a huge wedding the whole town is invited to might not be the thing for me. It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be traditional... but I do think a proper, maybe modified, ceremony would be nice.
10 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 50
Day 50: Why you are doing this challenge
Because I saw someone else do it... but that's not really what I'm meant to say.
To keep track of where I am, of goals, opinions. To have a routine of sorts I can still adjust. To learn to write, every day, whether or not it's formal or not, creative or not. To have something to direct wandering thoughts at, put energy into, instead of the alternatives. If I spend more time thinking on these questions, I'll be forced to spend less on others.
Because I saw someone else do it... but that's not really what I'm meant to say.
To keep track of where I am, of goals, opinions. To have a routine of sorts I can still adjust. To learn to write, every day, whether or not it's formal or not, creative or not. To have something to direct wandering thoughts at, put energy into, instead of the alternatives. If I spend more time thinking on these questions, I'll be forced to spend less on others.
9 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 49
Day 49: Are you a lover or a fighter
A world in which the two are mutually exclusive is not one I want to live in.
If I'm not prepared to fight, I can't protect those I love - or anyone's right to love - but without love there is no reason to fight. But then, the quote from Bleach (surprising? maybe, but it truly was insightful when it began) left an impression as well: "I can't hold you if I'm welding a sword, but I can't protect you if I'm not."
A world in which the two are mutually exclusive is not one I want to live in.
If I'm not prepared to fight, I can't protect those I love - or anyone's right to love - but without love there is no reason to fight. But then, the quote from Bleach (surprising? maybe, but it truly was insightful when it began) left an impression as well: "I can't hold you if I'm welding a sword, but I can't protect you if I'm not."
8 October 2013
7 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 47
Day 47: What was your last Halloween costume
It wasn't much of a costume, I'm afraid - I just wore black things and some make-up. I haven't properly dressed up for Halloween in years, what with all the cosplay going on. And the fact that Halloween isn't much of a thing here. Still, maybe this year I could try?
It wasn't much of a costume, I'm afraid - I just wore black things and some make-up. I haven't properly dressed up for Halloween in years, what with all the cosplay going on. And the fact that Halloween isn't much of a thing here. Still, maybe this year I could try?
6 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 46
Day 46: What makes you smile
Cute fuzzy animals, texts or messages or mentions from friends, children who just discovered something new. Seeing someone I care about being emotive - irl or in their writing online. Fandom inside jokes, headcanons that match mine, friends' reactions to their favourite characters. Puns, references to media I love. Fangirls happily being fangirls.
Cute fuzzy animals, texts or messages or mentions from friends, children who just discovered something new. Seeing someone I care about being emotive - irl or in their writing online. Fandom inside jokes, headcanons that match mine, friends' reactions to their favourite characters. Puns, references to media I love. Fangirls happily being fangirls.
5 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 45
Day 45: When was the last time you tried something new
Yesterday. It was just a taco, but hey, it counts. I don't think I care for them very much.
Yesterday. It was just a taco, but hey, it counts. I don't think I care for them very much.
4 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 44
Day 44: When was the last time you wore a dress
Hmm. Must have been to a bar some time, in which case... months ago? I can't remember.
Hmm. Must have been to a bar some time, in which case... months ago? I can't remember.
3 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 43
Day 43: Is it possible to lie without saying a word
Yes and no. It's possible to intentionally mislead someone without saying a word, most of human communication is supposed to be nonverbal, but in the literal meaning of the word, no. Though if you've been deceived and your only way of communicating it to them is "you lied to me" or, alternatively, if that's the only accusation they accept for dishonesty, there's a problem somewhere.
Yes and no. It's possible to intentionally mislead someone without saying a word, most of human communication is supposed to be nonverbal, but in the literal meaning of the word, no. Though if you've been deceived and your only way of communicating it to them is "you lied to me" or, alternatively, if that's the only accusation they accept for dishonesty, there's a problem somewhere.
2 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 42
Day 42: What do you think of your driver’s license picture
It's... awful, honestly. Not only does my face look wide, they seemed to have trouble with how pale my skin is - it's just a blob of white against black hair.
It's... awful, honestly. Not only does my face look wide, they seemed to have trouble with how pale my skin is - it's just a blob of white against black hair.
1 October 2013
365 day challenge: Day 41
Day 41: When was the last time you wrote a letter? to whom?
It... must have been Ruu, but I can't remember exactly when. Too long ago, most likely. I don't even think it was this year. I'd write more often but it's hard to think of anything profound to say and I often feel like fleeting, unimportant things are a waste of her time and my paper.
Maybe I should try anyway.
It... must have been Ruu, but I can't remember exactly when. Too long ago, most likely. I don't even think it was this year. I'd write more often but it's hard to think of anything profound to say and I often feel like fleeting, unimportant things are a waste of her time and my paper.
Maybe I should try anyway.
30 September 2013
365 day challenge: Day 40
Day 40: What are features you get complimented on a lot
"A lot"? My hair, simply because it's longer than average. My eyes, for some reason - not sure if it's the shape or colour, but they're a mediocre light blue. For internal features... intelligence? The ability to think for myself? I don't know. I don't get many compliments and even thinking about fishing for them makes me hate myself.
"A lot"? My hair, simply because it's longer than average. My eyes, for some reason - not sure if it's the shape or colour, but they're a mediocre light blue. For internal features... intelligence? The ability to think for myself? I don't know. I don't get many compliments and even thinking about fishing for them makes me hate myself.
29 September 2013
365 day challenge: Day 39
Day 39: Why you think you’ve learnt more from the good or the bad
While it's true you can't learn to change if you never fail... if there is no good to compare it to, what direction do you take? How do you know it's not just another dead end? It goes without saying that 'you learn from your mistakes' is true as the most used advice on this topic, but I don't think people give enough credit to positive influences, opportunities and role models.
If my first best friend hadn't been so controlling, would it be easier for me to handle social situations, would I have more friends? When my grandfather died, would I have been able to accept it so quickly without the media I'd consumed? If I didn't have such a stable and loving relationship with a childhood friend, would I ever have been able to connect to another human being again? Especially after those few years in that company - while I learned to watch out for warning signs and not tolerate bullshit in place of something better, do these pros outweigh the cons of an unsupportive environment through formative years?
I think what matters most is the combination the good and bad happen to make in your life, and when you're old enough, what you choose to take from them.
While it's true you can't learn to change if you never fail... if there is no good to compare it to, what direction do you take? How do you know it's not just another dead end? It goes without saying that 'you learn from your mistakes' is true as the most used advice on this topic, but I don't think people give enough credit to positive influences, opportunities and role models.
If my first best friend hadn't been so controlling, would it be easier for me to handle social situations, would I have more friends? When my grandfather died, would I have been able to accept it so quickly without the media I'd consumed? If I didn't have such a stable and loving relationship with a childhood friend, would I ever have been able to connect to another human being again? Especially after those few years in that company - while I learned to watch out for warning signs and not tolerate bullshit in place of something better, do these pros outweigh the cons of an unsupportive environment through formative years?
I think what matters most is the combination the good and bad happen to make in your life, and when you're old enough, what you choose to take from them.
28 September 2013
365 day challenge: Day 38
Day 38: Thoughts on your generation
Not fundamentally different from other generations; ignorant, sometimes out of laziness, not doing enough to help the planet or the people on it, not as smart as they think they are and prone to stereotyping. Never believed the (very American) bullshit on 'millenials' and their jobless mooching off their parents - that, as a phenomenon, is not our fault. We have not existed long enough to make the market what it is and barely any of us has had any chance to be elected into anything that could help the situation.
Not fundamentally different from other generations; ignorant, sometimes out of laziness, not doing enough to help the planet or the people on it, not as smart as they think they are and prone to stereotyping. Never believed the (very American) bullshit on 'millenials' and their jobless mooching off their parents - that, as a phenomenon, is not our fault. We have not existed long enough to make the market what it is and barely any of us has had any chance to be elected into anything that could help the situation.
27 September 2013
365 day challenge: Day 37
Day 37: Who are you
I don't like this question. What are you after? What do you want me to tell you? My identity, social status, views, hobbies?
An introduction, maybe?
I'm a queer, kinky geek. I love to read and learn, I sort of like fandoms, I get really emotional about fiction and have about zero self confidence - which I suppose is a part of my depression. I'm messed up and even though I'm frequently told I'm 'a good person', many of my values and (especially) thoughts would not sit well with the majority of people I've met. I've never had a crush but I tend to fall deeply in love - I also don't have many friends but the ones I have are very dear to me. I don't consider most of my acquaintances friends even if we hang out or talk a lot. I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of words but I can't seem to find enough of the latter to explain the former. Nice to meet you.
I don't like this question. What are you after? What do you want me to tell you? My identity, social status, views, hobbies?
An introduction, maybe?
I'm a queer, kinky geek. I love to read and learn, I sort of like fandoms, I get really emotional about fiction and have about zero self confidence - which I suppose is a part of my depression. I'm messed up and even though I'm frequently told I'm 'a good person', many of my values and (especially) thoughts would not sit well with the majority of people I've met. I've never had a crush but I tend to fall deeply in love - I also don't have many friends but the ones I have are very dear to me. I don't consider most of my acquaintances friends even if we hang out or talk a lot. I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of words but I can't seem to find enough of the latter to explain the former. Nice to meet you.
26 September 2013
365 day challenge: Day 36
Day 36: What do you think about your friends
If I didn't think highly of them they wouldn't be my friends. I never understood how some people would just collect friends they couldn't stand most of the time. I don't make enemies or cause drama, but I don't make a habit of surrounding myself with people I don't genuinely like.
If I didn't think highly of them they wouldn't be my friends. I never understood how some people would just collect friends they couldn't stand most of the time. I don't make enemies or cause drama, but I don't make a habit of surrounding myself with people I don't genuinely like.
25 September 2013
365 day challenge: Day 35
Day 35: What is your favourite poptart flavor
I've never had any, I have no idea. Are they even sold here?
I've never had any, I have no idea. Are they even sold here?
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